Breathe. Reframe. Respond: Living Stronger with ADHD & RSD

Living with ADHD means living with a brain that overreacts—especially to criticism or rejection.

For many of us, this shows up as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD: a deep, sometimes overwhelming emotional pain triggered by even the slightest hint of disapproval. It’s like my mind is wired to expect rejection, and when it comes, my reaction can feel out of my control.

But I’ve learned that my reactions are not set in stone. There’s a powerful Bruce Lee quote that guides me:

This wisdom is especially relevant to RSD. If every word, look, and imagined slight can set off a storm inside me, then I’m handing over the keys to my peace of mind. But I can choose to pause, breathe, and let things pass.

“Breathe Me” is my favourite Sia song.

How does controlled breathing work?
 

Deep breathing directly influences the autonomic nervous system by activating the parasympathetic branch, responsible for the body's relaxation response. This shifts your body away from the "fight or flight" state, slows your heart rate, reduces blood pressure, and creates a sense of calm. Slow, controlled breathing—especially with prolonged exhalation—has increased vagal tone, synchronised neural activity, and enhanced emotional regulation, making it especially effective for managing RSD symptoms.

This beautiful quote by Allan Watts reminds me that breathwork connects mind and body, helping me find calm amid emotional storms.

Here are some other practical breathing exercises I use:

• Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing: Breathe deeply into your abdomen, letting it rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale.

• 4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This pattern helps calm the nervous system.

• Prolonged Expiratory Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds. Longer exhalations further boost parasympathetic activity.

• Counting Breaths: Count each inhale and exhale up to 10, then back down to focus and steady your mind.

• Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, and repeat for several cycles to reduce stress.

Here are a few practical steps I use to make cognitive restructuring part of my daily routine:

• Notice and Record: When I feel a strong emotional reaction, I pause and jot down what happened, what I thought, and how it made me feel. This helps me spot patterns and triggers.

• Challenge Your Thoughts: I ask myself, “Is this thought really true? What evidence supports it? Could there be another explanation?”

• Reframe: I try to replace the negative thought with a more balanced, realistic one. For example, I’ll change “I always mess up” to “Everyone makes mistakes, and this is a chance to learn.”

• Reflect: I pay attention to how I feel after reframing. Over time, this helps me respond to rejection or criticism with more resilience and less emotional pain.

How I make it work through my hobbies

I’ve found that weaving these steps into my daily life works exceptionally well when I combine them with my favourite mindful movement practices.

In Taekwondo, every movement and breath is a lesson in focus and discipline, teaching me to be aware and in control of my reactions.

Vinyasa yoga’s flowing, mindful movements and breathwork keep me in the present, making it easier to catch and shift unhelpful thoughts.

Even cold-water swimming is a practice in staying calm and present under stress—when I’m in the water, I use that same mental focus to notice my thoughts and gently guide them in a more helpful direction.

When I struggle with overwhelming feelings, I remind myself of Alan Watts’ wisdom:

Like cold-water swimming, I’m learning to relax with my feelings instead of fighting them.

Mindfulness has also become essential. It’s not about erasing my emotions or pretending rejection doesn’t hurt. It’s about creating space between what I feel and how I respond. When I notice my brain firing up with self-criticism, I pause, breathe, and remind myself:

This pause is where my power lives. Instead of spiralling, I can ask: Is this rejection real, or is my mind assuming the worst? Can I respond with kindness to myself, even if I feel hurt?

Thanks for reading my second post about Living with ADHD, this time showing how I have used Lifestyle and Holistic medicine principles on my journey to help myself. If you feel this has been helpful to you, please comment or share 🥰

Dr Cam

^{Over and out}